Cheating Husband? Deal with it!

Love is blind… and many times literally. How many of us forgive our partners once too often for their misdemeanors? When it comes to cheating spouse however one would think there is no scope for forgiveness. Surprisingly though many forgive this ultimate sin in a relationship. If you are one of them, then here are the ways to deal with it..

Don’t blame yourself- Quit blaming yourself. Realize that the flaw is not with you but with your husband. So spare yourself negative thoughts like ‘I was not good enough for him’ or ‘I should have loved him more’ etc. Remember if he thinks you are not good enough then he should amicably break up rather than betray you and the commitment.

Confront him: Yes it’s important that you confront him on this. It may be hard for you, but you need to hear it. Make sure you have a face to face conversation with him and make him aware of his ‘betrayal’. Confession is a step towards taking an assertive stand. You need to make him aware that his actions were wrong and you are giving him a chance to make amends. If your partner is cheating on you by being available emotionally for someone else then it’s a red alert that your relationship is over. Any effort to restore this will be more of a heart break for you.  

Check for any signs of repentance- Going off on a guilt trip is quite normal for cheaters. How genuine the repentance is you need to decipher. Is your partner taking you for granted? Does he believe your soft behavior will prompt him from cheating again? If he is a serial cheater then I doubt any confrontation will make him check his ways. You need to cut your losses and move out. But if you want to give him and your relationship another chance then you have to wait and watch. See if he is making an effort to mend his ways.

Can you forgive him? : After hearing your partner out, ask yourself this question... Can you forgive them for what they did wrong? While we know this whole space resembles a religious doctrine, we must admit that forgiving your partner is step one of moving on to a healthier space in your relationship. Unless you do the same, there is just no sense in being together. Face it--- it is important to be okay with what went wrong before getting back on track.

Voice out the rules: Trust in a relationship is important. Once it’s gone you need to be vocal about what’s right and what is remotely wrong in his behavior. Tell him everything about what makes you insecure and most importantly what is acceptable to you. Setting ground rules is very important for a ‘fresh start’.

Give him time- Time heals everything. There is nothing that time will not make you forget or forgive. Give your relationship space and time. Don’t bring it up again till it’s really necessary. 


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